Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!!

Have you guys watched The Americans? I've been DVR-ing it, but today I finally watched a few episodes. This show is cray! It's about Russian spies living in America in the '80s and all the wild spy stuff they do. Apparently the took a page from the James Bond spy book, because the only form of interrogation they use is to have hot hot sex with their target... So I guess everyone wins? 

I did some Woody nails a couple days ago, and I've been pondering how I'd get Buzz Lightyear to the party. I thought about just free-handing everything, but I have a feeling that it'd end up a smudgy mess. Instead I put a bunch of green, purple, and red polish on a plastic sheet, let it dry over night, and then cut out into Buzz shapes. This was still SUPER difficult because they're little tiny pieces of very flimsy polish. But I think it worked pretty great! I ended up painting on the buttons, mostly because I can't cut tiny circles to save my life. I don't know if I'd recommend this method, but I did have a lot of fun doing it!

Toy Story's Woody Skittles

Today has been rough. I went out with a couple friends last night and I have been nursing what feels like the world's worst hangover the entire day. But amidst my pain and misery I came across Toy Story 3 on tv and couldn't help but watch and bawl my eyes out. That movie is so perfect!! I think my next few manis will be Toy Story characters, starting off with my favorite character - Woody!

Disney Drinking Games: The Sword in the Stone

A few months ago my friend Curtis and I discovered that we both really love Disney's The Sword in the Stone. I have a habit of of quoting Archimedes ("Eh? Who? What what??") and Madam Mim ("I haaaaaate shunshine! Horrible, wholesome shunshine!!") a little too frequently. As a slightly late birthday celebration we mixed up some tasty drinks (of the alcoholic variety), dusted off my VCR, and popped in my VHS copy of The Sword in the Stone!

Here's the rules we used, but feel free to make up your own!

Drink when:

• Anyone calls Arthur by the name "Wart"
• Merlin casts a spell / says spell words
• Anyone says a question word (who, what, where, when). Kind of a weird one, but It makes you realize how many questions people ask!

Chug when:

• Merlin sings a magic song. This basically just covers all of the spell words he says while singing.

Pogo? Pogo!

Note: I definitely did a Pink Wednesday nail design for today, but I fudged it up before I could take a picture. But here's something cooler!

I listen to approximately one zillion podcasts throughout the week. I'm almost always at a computer, so I spend most of my time with one earbud in, listening to hilarious dudes talk about equally hilarious things. One show, Jonah Raydio, has a comedian (Jonah Ray) talking to a couple guests each week (usually people who've been in the music industry) while playing a bunch of songs he thinks are awesome. I listed to an episode a while back that talked about a DJ named Pogo who splices famous tv/movie clips into really catchy songs. I think my favorite so far is the Alice remix, although the Scooby Doo one is pretty sweet as well. Here's a few of the videos! Check him out on his website (doesn't he look adorable?) and YouTube channel.

"Alice" - Pogo

"Sugarella" - Pogo

"Scoobystep" - Pogo

P.S. The next holiday movie I'll be watching is Christmas Cupid.

Mick-EY-splosion

Get it? Ey-splosion? Feel free to giggle.

I have been so productive this weekend! I played darts for the first time in a zillion years! Note to self - play more often. Then I did a 50 mile training ride in Columbus - and injured my foot! I have no idea what I did, but I can't walk for a couple hours at a time. My "doctor" recommended icing and heating it, which seems to be working. I was supposed to go out last night, but with my bum foot (and everyone wimping out) I stayed in - and cleaned my entire apartment! What is wrong with me?!

I'm not sure why I'm liking Disney so much lately. But I am. Today's Disney design is old-school, based on this cute Mickey picture I found. I feel like I've seen it somewhere before...

 

I need to work on my dotting skills. I'm not really sure how I keep crapping them up.

Alice in Wonderland

I'm obsessing about Disney movies lately. Nothing new, really. Today's obsession is Alice in Wonderland!! I wanted some crazy nails, and that's definitely what I got. I probably should have planned this a bit more, but I actually think this came out pretty well.

Cheshire Cat
The first character I tried to paint was the Cheshire Cat. I did a purple base coat then taped over where I wanted the stripes. Believe it or not, it took ages to find tiny tape.

Alice
This was the toughest one to do. I'm terrible at free-handing stuff, and somehow this bow just didn't want to work out. It looked good, then I played with it, and then it was terrible, so I fixed it again... now it's ok.

Queen of Hearts' Rose Garden

Ya got me, this is not a person. But it's preeeeetty! I feel like this one came out of the best - which is a minor miracle. I basically blobbed on paint, outlined with a sharpie, and hoped for the best.

Queen of Hearts & Card Guards

My card guards (pointer finger) are meh. The paint pen just wasn't working and ended up smudgie. And that's all I have to say about that. My Queen is a really sweet glitter I got a while back. Give me a break, everyone in Wonderland is stoned anyway.

Here's all the colors I used!!

Revolon Top Speed: Cherry, Violet, and Jelly
Ulta: Mint Condition and For Bitten
Spoiled: Ants in My Pants
Kiss Nail Art White
Nicole by OPI: One Time Lime

I think the next movie on my list is Snow White... Wish me luck!

That's What Friends Are For

It's been a while since I've posted a song. For some reason, I got really tired of most of the Christmas radio stations, so I've been turning to an old favorite - Disney songs! I usually hate fandubs with a passion that burns brighter than a thousand rising suns, but this one is actually pretty hilarious, since the guys make GREAT faces. Enjoy!

Redneck 12 Days of Christmas

I may or may not be able to sing this whole thing....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJOe3CXE-mA

Unfortunately, it's not letting me add this video in, so you'll have to click it!

Pretty outrageous. To that I say -

Worst Disney Sequels

I don't know if you're aware of this, but I've seen more than my fair share of Disney movies. After a few decades of avid Disney-watching, I've developed a bit of an attitude towards sequels/prequels/mid-quels. Some of them are amazing, like Toy Story 2 and 3 (if they make a 4th, I'll flip shit). However, many of them are terrible beyond belief. I really wish that Disney would take a poll and see if people actually WANTED these sequels, because I have a feeling that the majority would vote no - especially if they've seen these atrocities.


The Lion King 1 1/2

"Does anybody know when this movie is taking place?'

I loved The Lion King and The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride wasn't that bad, but THIS was garbage. It didn't make a lot of sense. Apparently Timon and Pumba go back and retell the first (and second?) movie they way they saw it. According to this movie, they were in the background the whole time just cracking jokes. Yeah right. Don't lie to me.



Mulan II

"I liked you better as a man."

What a pile of doo-doo. I honestly can't even remember what the plot of this movie was. I think it had something to do with Mulan being too much of a man for Shang to deal with. They're also planning a wedding and then run off to fight another war. Or something like that. Who even cares. The first movie ended perfectly - the war was over, the girl got her man, and the fireworks went off. You can't possible create another war for them to fight! That would just be ridiculous.





The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea

"I'm so hungry I could eat an eel!"

Ursula's anorexic cousin/sister gets pissed when she's killed, swears to take her revenge out on Ariel and her family, yadda yadda. This sequel fast forwarded like 15 years to follow Ariel's whiny 12 year old daughter as she wishes to go back to the sea, which of course she isn't allowed to because of the new witch in town. She also doesn't know she's half mermaid. Why they thought this movie would be a good idea, I do not know. The best character (Ursula) is dead!! Think, people!

"Get in ma belleh"

They also made Flounder a fat hippo. Didn't see that one coming.











The Jungle Book 2

*PTHT*

You can't make a sequel after all of the original voice characters and animators are dead. It doesn't come out the same, it just looks like a corny copy. In this picture, Mowgli and the cute girl look like they're taking a poop. Cuz that's what this was. Was there a plot? Oh yeah, Mowgli wants to go back to the jungle and is in danger. SERIOUSLY?! Just watch the first movie in reverse.









Cinderella II: Dreams Come True

"Why am I here?"

This is quite possibly the worst of them all. I think only three people in the world have seen this one (me, Laura, and Kelley). This one was also obviously made way after all of the original people were dead. And it wasn't even a movie!!! It was a movie containing short, stupid stories about how Cinderella was dealing with living in the palace and becoming friends with one of her idiot step-sisters. What the heck! After she rides off into the sunset, the last thing I want to watch is her getting bitched at by servants and giving handouts to an ugly ho. I haven't seen the third one yet, but it actually looked like there was a plot - somehow the evil stepmother turns back time and doesn't let Cinderella meet the prince or something. I may watch this at some point, but if it's anything like the second one, I'm burning the DVD afterwards to save others from the misery.





Pocahontas II: Journey to A New World

John Rolfe!! That name is the biggest insult I can bestow upon a human being. Pocahontas 2 is to blame for this. In the sequel, Disney attempted to go back and correct the blatant historical inaccuracies portrayed in the first one. But who gave a shit about those! Not I! I just wanted to see Pocahontas magically speak perfect English to her blonde hottie, John Smith. Why on earth would you want to ruin that?! Instead, the dumbos at Disney (Dumbo, ha!) brought Pocahontas to England, made her wear hideous dresses, and forced her to date the weenie, JOHN ROLFE.

Inspirational Song of the Week: (There Can Be Miracles) When You Believe

I dislike Wednesdays. Historically, the television programming is really questionable, you still have two days of work left (although I only have one!), and time just seems to move slower. To get myself motivated to deal with the rest of the week, I typically get a really awesome song stuck in my head and just sing it when things are getting rough. I really want to start posting Christmas songs, but... it isn't even Thanksgiving yet. Instead, I'm digging into my wealth of animated movie songs, and whipping out a classic from the Prince of Egypt. This song may be too sappy for most (it makes me cry) but it's amazing nonetheless.

Disney Movies - The Drinking Game

Yup, you read that right. A friend and I got out of training early on Friday (thank goodness) and decided to go wild and watch some Disney movies! This alone would have been amazing, but to top it all off, we got hot chocolate and several tasty liquors and made it a drinking game!

Step 1: Buy tasty drinks. Since the temperature in Houston finally dipped below 70 for about five seconds, we all decided to bust out the parkas and hot cocoa. Luckily, many awesome things like peppermint schnapps, butterscotch schnapps, and cinnamon schnapps all go well with chocolate. We might have bought them all...

There is no better drink than hot chocolate - unless it's hot chocolate with crazy marshmallows!

Step 2: Pick out amazing Disney movies. For this festive occasion, we picked The Great Mouse Detective, Beauty and the Beast, and The Jungle Book. Ones with awesome songs seem to work best - especially after a few drinks!

Step 3: Carefully choose words/characters to drink to. Now this is where it gets tricky. Unlike most people, I tend to remember these movies well enough to quote them in their entirety. I can give you a few tips for what to pick, based on what we did:

• The Great Mouse Detective 
• "Basil"
• Every time Basil butchers "Flaversham"
• Whenever you see Toby 
• Beauty and the Beast
• "Beast" - this word comes up a surprising number of times
• whenever you see the rose
• "Gaston" - I love this character, so I thought this would be a great idea. However, I forgot that his name was said 31 times within a 4 minute song. Beware!!
• The Jungle Book
• "Man" - just do this one, cuz they seriously say it like 100 times.

Once Upon A Dream

Dear Sleeping Beauty / Aurora / Briar Rose,

I have watched your movie approximately one million times. I know the words to all of your songs, and I can quote pretty much everything you and your friends say. I even know all THREE of your names. (What kind of a person needs three names?!)As a faithful fan, I would like you to know one thing: you are completely to blame for your problems.

At this point you may be thinking "But I was cursed as a baby by the evil Maleficent!" You are correct - this was your parents' fault. All they had to do was invite the terrifying devil woman to a party! I'm not sure if you've hosted many parties, but from the ones I've thrown I've learned that you only have two options when dealing with unwelcome guests:

1. Invite them to come anyway. Most likely she would have politely declined the invitation (evil villains don't usually enjoy baby parties).

2. Make damn sure they don't find out about it. I'm not sure if your parents' plan to keep this party thing a secret was very well thought out. Seems to me that they invited the entire kingdom to attend. You know what they always say - "Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead." Maybe a small family affair would have sufficed.


Now let's get to the stuff you're to blame for.

After hiding deep in the woods for 16 years, never seeing anyone besides those looney fairies, I understand that you might want to expand your social circle a little. But did you seriously have to jump on the first man you saw??! That's a little slutty. All he did was sing along with your song and BOOM you're in love. That's pathetic. Keep in in your pants.

I'm not sure if you remember the real first time you and Prince Phillip met, but he took one look at your ugly baby-self and stuck his tongue out. But now that you look like a supermodel he's allll over you. Girl, take a hint!

Then you invited this boy back to your place. After your aunties/fairies told you not to speak to strangers, much less invite them over! Did you ever ask them why you weren't allowed to have friends? Well you should have. If you hadn't invited him over, he wouldn't have been kidnapped by Maleficent, you would have met up with him at the castle, partied your buns off, and lived happily ever after!

This letter may seem a little harsh, but I'm hoping that you can learn from your mistakes and stop fooling little girls into believing that strange men they meet in the woods are wonderful, singing princes. That's just a recipe for disaster.

I know you

I walked with you once upon a dream.

I know you

The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

Yes, I know it's true

that visions are seldom all they seem...

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at once

the way you did once upon a dream