Thursday, November 29, 2012

Christmas Movie Marathon: Christmas Cupid

I'm not going to lie, 30 seconds ago I searched "Christmas" on Netflix and this is what I'm going with. I really will look into some better movies, but I'm liking these horribly corny ones at the moment. Plus it's streaming on Netflix, so you really can't complain. I think the next one might be a little more classy.


1. Looks like the main character is a sassy bitch. Scracth that, two sassy bitches.

2. Every person in this movie so far is gorgeous and vaguely familiar.

3. Woah.. inappropriate touching in the workpalce! Wait... wait... inappropriate TONGUE-TOUCHING in the workplace!!!

4. When does the hot man in this banner show up? I guess Momma Sista-Sista will do for now.
Noteworthy Quote:
"You better be calling with some good news or else you'll be singing Christmas carols as a soprano."

5. This is how I dance when I'm on the phone. All the time.

6. HAHAHA oh my gosh I should really read what these movies are about before I watch them. Since it's in the 2 sentence blurb that I assume you've already read, this isn't a spoiler. Sassy blonde bitch dies and haunts sassy black bitch Scrooge-style.

7. Well hellooooooooooooooooooooo there Chad Michael Murray!! How do you only look better with age? Has it really been 11 years since you were bumping uglies with Jen and Joey down at the Creek? And how do you always know how much stubble is the PERFECT amount? Those scrubs really bring out the color of your... crotch.


8. Alright, sassy bitch has dated EVERY male in this movie. I should be more appalled  but I can blame her. Look at these bangin' bods! Girl's only got so much self control here!

9.  Rock-hard-bod #1 looks like an angel when he fake-sleeps.

10. I also like to prove that people can't see my by flashing my lady lumps! ABC Family, you sure know women. And families.
Noteworthy Quote:
"Oh Carl, your old, wrinkled hands would feel so good on my young, firm ..."

11. I think I need a trench-coat dress.

12. And a cheer squad to help narrate my life choices and ex-boyfriends. Brad is pretty adorable... And this football uniform..!
Noteworthy Quote:
"You put out! She put out!"

13. Have you ever wondered what it's like to act like you're super sad in a room full of other actors acting like idiots? I'll have to ask CMM.

14. Another shocker that I wasn't prepared for. The look on CMM's face portrays my feelings exactly. Bitches be crazy.
Noteworthy Quotes:
"I get to show you all the ways your bitchitude affects those around you."

15. Little reminder, this was made by ABC Family. And they're talking about stealing herpes medicine.
Noteworthy Quote:
"Hello can I buy some ointment to put out the fire in my underpants?'

16. During a lull in the plotline, I looked up blonde bitch. She was a Six Chick in 13 Going On 30! She's also in a popular tv show, but I don't watch that so it doesn't count.

17. Predictable ghost of future boyfriends. Snooze. Bring back the hottie!!

18. H - O - T! T - I - E!! We need hottie!!! I don't care about the rest of her life/friends. All of this making up seems REEEEEALLY easy. 30 second conversations mending decades of wounds. MMk. Looks like she's doing exactly what she planned on doing in the first place.

19. I love Ross Matthews. Too bad he wasn't around more!
Noteworthy Quote:
"Heaven has an open bar! And Heath Ledger. And James Dean."

Too soon, ABC Family. Too soon.

20. HOTTIE!!! I love his tattoo. What is it? I don't know. Nor do I care. I just want it near me.

Recommendation Time!
HO HO HO or NO NO NO?

HO NO HO!

Overall, this is a pretty decent corny movie. The gorgeous men make this worth watching. But probably never rewatching.


P.S. I just looked up 3 different "Best Christmas Movies" lists and all three of them listed Die Hard as the best Christmas movie of all time hahaha. I am so pumped.

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