Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas Movie Marathon: ALL THE MOVIES

I'm not sure how other people do Christmas Eve and Christmas day, but I spend nearly every waking hour watching some amazing (and some terrible) movies! I didn't get to all of the movies I wanted to, but I really did watch ALL of these within 48 hours. Here's a short blurb about each, just in case you haven't seen it yet!

Christmas Eve

Christmas with the Kranks
I turned this one on thinking "oh yeah, this is a funny movie! Who doesn't love Tim Allen?!" I ALWAYS forget how much this movie frustrates me beyond belief. What kind of town goes this bonkers about Christmas?? Wherever it is, I want to move there. But never cross them.

A Chipmunk Christmas
I can't even remember the last time I saw this movie. I had to have been in elementary school. I do have the album though! It's probably one of my favorites. 1981 - Man, this is when the Chipmunks were awesome. Not the horrible computer-generated nonsense they're making now. Hmm, there's some songs in the movie that aren't on the album! I've been missing out!

Four Christmases
This movie was just on tv and I decided to watch it. I don't think I've seen it before... Ah it looks like Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn are an adorable couple that goes out of their way to avoid their crazy parents during the holidays but are still forced to see them all one fateful Christmas. Twas quite funny and adorable.

White Christmas
If you're looking for a movie with the greatest Christmas songs of all time, look no further! This is nonstop tunes, so don't watch if you're not a fan of some of the greatest musical numbers you'll ever see in your life.

The Mistle-Tones
I recorded this a couple weeks ago from ABC Family not knowing what it was. The first 5 minutes almost forced me to chop my ears off. It gets better. Is there one woman in every Christmas movie named Holly? Seems so. This one is played by Tia Mowry (Sista Sistaaa!). Carl Winslow and a bunch of screaming children are also involved. This movie is good if you're ok with super awkward scenes where people just start singing in another person's face for no reason. The gorgeous boss totally makes this movie worth watching though. And "The Chest-Notes." Oh dear god.

Christmas With Holly
And so began the onslaught of Christmas movies with a girl named Holly. There's gonna be at least one more, so prepare yourself. This one is about a little girl who loses her mom and then stops speaking, her adorable uncle, and a woman that was just left at the alter. Cute uncle moves back home to "the island" to live with his two ridiculous brothers. You'll love them. Three men and a baby!

The Family Stone
I first saw this movie in high school with the lovely Miss Tully. At the time, we both thought it was the weirdest, worst movie we'd ever seen (right after Rumor Has It...), but somehow we've both started liking it. What's that about? I don't know.. I guess sometimes you just have to give movies a second chance. This one is about a douchebag guy bringing home his super uptight girlfriend and a tidal wave of ridiculous things that happen during the visit. Rewatching it made me remember why I hated it. The family is so mean! They hate this girl from the very beginning!! Poor thing. She also says the worst things and makes everything PAINFULLY awkward. Merry Christmas?

A Christmas Story
I never really saw this movie until I was in high school. How did I miss out? Well my parents failed me, that's how. But I made up for missing out one year by actually watching the entire 24 hour marathon they have on TBS. "Ralphie, you'll shoot your eye out!!"

Christmas Day

The Santa Clause
In my opinion, this is the greatest Tim Allen movie of all time. All of the sequels are horrible and ridiculous (but in a good way!) but that doesn't ruin this movie for me one bit. I feel kinda bad for Scott Calvin! How would you like to just be old, fat, and Santa-looking overnight?!
"We're your worst nightmare. Elves. With. Attitude."

Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer
Did you know that Rudolph was made up by Macy's so that they could sell more stuff? And then they made a song/movie! Talk about the best marketing campaign ever.
"Why am I such a misfit? I am not just a nitwit..."

"Byeeee, Buddy, hope you find your dad!"
"Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?"
"The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!"

It's A Wonderful Life
This is my favorite Christmas movie of all time. Other than Die Hard, which I list as my favorite movie just ever. If you have a heart, keep your tissues handy. You'll be bawling with joy by the end for sure. This movie is about a man whose life hasn't worked out the way he thought it would, and one fateful night the shit hits the fan and he has to be reminded how wonderful his life really is.
"Buffalo gal, won't you come out tonight? Won't you come out tonight? And dance by the light of the mooooon."

*Halfway through this movie my power went out a bunch of times. Bah! Humbug!*

Die Hard
Who HASN'T seen this movie? I hope the answer is no one, but I have met a few people who've been missing out. Get your shit together and watch this. If you like Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Carl Winslow, lots of amazing action scenes, and mother f-ing Christmas, then this is definitely for you. It's the perfect way to dry up those Wonderful Life tears. Also, another Holly!! Officer McClane's wife is named Holly.

*Power out again!!*

Die Hard 2: Die Harder
What's better than Die Hard? Two Die Hards! I go back and forth about whether this one or the first one is my favorite. I still can't decide. This one is the same amount of amazing PLUS planes!

Doctor Who: The Snowmen
Christmas special!! London gets destroyed every year. I love all of the new ways of destruction they come up with. Snowmen!! Is this London? I can't tell... The episodes where the Doctor is lonely make me so sad. Poor Doctor. I also hate episodes where companions throw themselves at the Doctor romantically. Step off!!

Home Alone
This is me this year! My family all went to Illinois and I stayed behind to fight the tornadoes and power outages. Not as exciting as robbers, but I've kept myself entertained.

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York
This is the only other Home Alone movie that I acknowledge existing. All others are phonies. Did you guys know that they made the Talkman just for this movie??? Another huge marketing campaign that exploded beyond belief. I wanted one of these sooooo bad, but my parents bought me some other stupid cassette player/recorder instead. I worked with what I had, but it wasn't nearly as cool.

Jingle All The Way
"Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blizten!" This movie definitely solidified my memorization of the reindeer names. It also created an everlasting bond with me and Arnold. This move came out when I was 8, so I hadn't seen many Ahnold movies yet. After this I wanted to see them all! Did you know that the little kid went on to become freaking Anakin Skywalker?? Poor kid's life was ruined. If only people would remember him for his Jingle days!

Ones I didn't get to but will be watching in the next week:

Meet Me in St. Louis

Frosty the Snowman

Frosty Returns

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

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