First off, check out the sweet Google Doodle from today!!! I really recommend checking it out ASAP. There's a bunch of scenes that just made me giggle at how accurate they are.
Pre-episode tidbits - This actually isn't the second pilot! I believe that this was actually the fifth or sixth episode that was filmed (once they knew they were going to get picked up) and they decided to have this be the first episode at the last minute. Weird!
Episode 1.1 - The Man Trap
Original air-date: Sept. 8, 1966
Plot: Stardate 1513.1, the Enterprise visits planet M-113 where a group of nerds are doing an archaeological survey. Dr. McCoy (Bones) meets up with a former lady lover, Nancy, who is now married to one of the nerds. Random crew members start dying after all of the salt is strangely sucked from their bodies. Who's doing the sucking? Let's find out!
After beaming down to a pretty drab-looking planet, Captain Kirk tells Bones that he should bring his lady some "flowers." Looks like these pieces of straw are all this planet can afford.
Nancy, looking like the same hottie Bones remembers from 10 years ago, waltzes in to say hello. But when the captain gives her the once-over she's looking a little rough. *First indication of something weird going on*
After one more crewmen introduces himself, we see that he is seeing her as a 20-something blonde bimbo! He tells her she looks like a girl he left behind on a "pleasure planet" AKA hooker. Smooth.
I guess they're trying to show that each man is seeing his ideal woman. But... the captain likes 'em old? Innnnneresting choice, Jimbo. Mommy-issues?
Nancy lures Mr. Pleasure Planet away from the others with a "come hither" sashay of her hips just as the intro credits roll. SPACE! THE FINAL FRONTIER!
Mr. Nancy rudely greets Bones and Kirk, asking them to get the heck out - but leave him some salt. Bones insists that Star Fleet requires a yearly health check, and the trio starts chatting about how Nancy looks. Bones keeps going on and on about how Nancy hasn't aged in 12 years while Kirk, ever the gentleman, tries to hold back his comments about her looking a little older than 25.
Bones looks confused, and Mr. Nancy tries to hit that maybe Bones had his beer-goggles on and that when she came back she'd appear to be a more "believable age." Just then, they hear Nancy shrieking like a loon off in the distance.
Turns out that Mr. PP "ate an untested plant" and died on the spot. Kirk shoved his fingers down his face to pull out a little green plant.
What kind of grown-ass man picks up a random alien plant and just starts eating it? Really?? Come on lady, come up with something a little more believable!! But Kirk and Bones seem to think this is totally reasonable, as their crew members have the average intelligence of a two-year-old. Somewhere during Nancy's tear-filled retelling of the events Bones realizes that she's looking a little old. The guys get ready to beam themselves and Mr. PP back to the ship, but Nancy takes a moment to forcefully remind them to bring back some salt tablets.
Back on the ship, communications officer Uhura gets her flirt on with Mr. Spock. She tells him that they should talk about what it's like to be in love, first kisses, and what a moonlight stroll on Vulcan looks like.
Spock no likey.
Spock video chats with sickbay once everyone is beamed back. Check out his earpiece...
He lets the doc and Kirk know that whatever PP ate isn't what made his face so blotchy. DUN DUN DUNNNN. Bones runs and reruns some tests, and finally discovers PP has zero salt left in his body. Spock, Kirk, and two other dudes head back to the planet to question the couple. Nancy is off doing something, so one of the dudes goes off to find her while the other starts looking at plants. While the others are arguing about why salt is necessary, Nancy kills the dudes. Then she morphs into one of them while Mr. Nancy runs away. Bones and Kirk meet up with the impostor, and Bones yells for Nancy to come to the safety of the ship with them. Kirk tells him to "stop thinking with your glands!" and get back to the ship. Nancy (now Greene) beams back with them. In the hallway he encounters Basket-Head eating someone else's food (why?) so he stops to eat the salt shaker.
Spock and Jim scan the surface of the planet to locate Mr. and Mrs. Nancy, but only one lifesign is visible.
Apparently today is Horn-Dog Day on the Enterprise, and these two pervs check Basket-Head out.
Turns out Yoeman Janice was bringing Sulu his food in the botany lab. While she drops it off, she says hello to her favorite moving/squealing planet, which is clearly a man wearing a green glove with pink cloth stuck on the ends. Love it.
After Nancy/Greene strikes out with Basket-Head, he sees Uhura in the hall. He quickly morphs into her idea of a dreamboat -
Uhura obviously thinks he's a hottie.
And she isn't bothered by the fact that she's never seen him before (they live on a spaceship!!) or that he's obviously about to choke her to death.
Luckily, Basket-Head walks back into the scene just in time. Uhura heads back to the bridge, where she fails to mention the stranger who tried to kill her.
In other news, Bones takes a sleeping pill and passes out on the most uncomfortable looking space bed ever.
Nancy/Greene/Sexy Black Man eats.. this guy... I tried to come up with a good name for him, but I'm thinking so many things at once that I can't narrow it down to just one.
Nancy goes to whisper sweet nothings to the doc while he's pretty drugged up. All medical personnel are called to a meeting and, naturally, Nancy goes for him - as him!
Jim locks on to Mr. Nancy's location and beams down to have another chat. They find him.. just chillin... next to his rocks and lion statue...
Spock has another look around and eventually finds Greene's real body. Finally! It's taken way too long for them to realize this thing was a shifter. Also, everyone in this episode is super sweaty - except Spock. Are they supposed to be like this? I can't tell. Maybe it's just the Sweaty Sixties. Mr. Nancy gets caught and tells Spock and Kirk that the creature is the last of its kind and the real Nancy died about a year ago. He's been keeping it alive with salt tablets. *Beam back to the bridge*
Fake Bones meanders up to the bridge and asks Sulu and company for an update about the "creature" and the offers some advice. After everyone explains the traps that have been set for it, the salt-licker says they should just give "it" some salt and it'll behave. This is the first of many arguments the crew will have about whether or not to kill an alien creature just for doing what it does. Mr. Nancy (who senses that the doc is really the creature) explains that the creature needs love as much as it needs salt, and that he loves when it becomes Nancy for him. Creepy? Creepier still, Spock suggests that they use "truth serum" on Mr. Salt-licker so that he tells them which person is really the creature. The "doctor" says it's ok, and then he and Spock take the poor guy to sickbay.
Nancy/Bones tries to eat Spock and then kills Mr. Nancy. So much for love!!
Nancy wakes up the real Bones and tries to make it sound like the others are out to kill her.
Kirk walks in, phasor set from stun - to kill! Kirk lures Nancy over with some salt pills, but McCoy still doesn't believe it and tries to wrestle the phasor away.
Nancy starts eating the captain (of course) and the doctor still doesn't believe it (of course) until Spock walks in and starts beating the shit out of it.
FINALLY the doctor sees the creature for what it is! And boy is it a doozie.
I don't know about you, but all this talk of salt has made me thirsty.
Death toll: 5